Wisdom Wednesday: Emotions and Confidence

A huge thank you to Annette Nygaard for diving deep into the Emotional Regulation module in the Premier Mindset training and really learning and incorporating the things she has learned into her daily life. Her project was fantastic! Check it out below:

Emotions and Confidence.

I love that the first question in the emotional regulation module was: What are emotions and why do we have to have them?

I always joke with people that I always try not to catch the nasty buggers. It turns out they actually can be helpful. During the Premier Mindset training I have learned that emotions have a "profound effect on one's performance and well+being." It starts with knowing what triggers the emotions, you then start to understand why you feel what you do, and then how to harness the emotional energy positively. The one phrase that stood out to me was to let yourself feel it, lean into it and then let it go. There is something freeing about being told it is ok to have emotions. It is ok to feel the way you do. But, then what are you going to do about it? This program is about finding your focus and how to refocus after distractions such as negative emotions to reach your goals.

We are all aware that it is difficult to control our emotions, unless your a robot. I have learned that we may not be able to control our emotions but we can control our responses to them. We can control our reactions by better figuring out our triggers. Once we know our triggers we can develop a plan to deal with our negative emotions and to refocus us, and to use the energy for a positive outcome to propel you toward the goal. It is so easy to get distracted along the way with self-doubt, negative self-talk, past failures, and other people’s opinions. Knowing these are triggers if you can develop a plan for yourself on how you are going to move forward can help keep your focus on the task at hand. Whether it is just making through the day at work or getting a pull-up or working toward a PR in an Olympic lift. The SERR model is what they used to explain this; Situation-Emotion-Response=Results.

The next module that struck a chord was confidence. I know that this is an area that I struggle with. I feel it is because of the years of negative emotions and feelings have eroded the confidence down.

There were five areas that you need to help with confidence.

1. Skill Mastery:”Knowing this is something you have done before and you can do it again”. Body language, standing up tall, head up, eye contact, and acting as if you are confident will build that skill. There is so much to be said for walking tall and holding your head up. You do feel more confident and then other also perceive you are someone who is confident.

2. Verbal persuasion: This is self talk and what others have to say about you. This one is huge for me. I have a folder that I keep that I call my affirmation file. I keep all the positive notes and kind words that people have taken the time to write down and use these in those moments when I do not feel confident as a mom, in my job or feel like I am failing at life in general. These do help give me a boost. I can read them and feel like I got this! If they think this then it must be true,they wouldn’t have written it if is wasn’t true. The positive self-talk is a bit more difficult. After reading some positive thoughts it does help boost your ability to also talk yourself up. Self talk really is important and I have been more mindful of the things I say about myself and monitoring the phrase I can’t. I reframe it and break it into things that are positive.

3. Modeling: Having a mentor that you feel exudes confidence and habits that they have that you can emulate. There are several people that I look at and think they are so confident and have it all together. I find myself studying them and seeing what they do and trying to have some of the same habits as them to be more positive and successful.

4. Well-being: Overall health and how you are fueling your body, sleep, how you manage stress, exercise...etc. I have really spent time the last couple years trying to get this one mastered. I am trying for consistency and I can tell when I get better sleep consistently I feel better. When I feel better I am able to handle stress and emotions more confidently and not end up moody and apathetic. When I eat better I sleep better and then feel better it is all tied together and up until about 2 years ago I was clueless about this. I have been working on the physical and now have been tackling the mental part.

Confidence by definition is a feeling of self-assurance rising from one’s appreciation of one's own ability or qualities. Feeling by definition is an emotional state. So the two are very intertwined. According to the module confidence is a feeling that will always drive you towards your goals and not away from them.

I took away from these 2 modules that emotions are a natural part of life and it is ok to have them. We control our responses to them and as we master this skill we will gain confidence in our ability. Self confidence and mastery of emotions is a constant journey. Through this journey we learn about ourselves and gain the confidence to head into the unknown or tomorrow. Knowing that we have the tools to be able to refocus the negative energy and self regulate our emotions to continue to be successful in whatever goals we have set for ourselves.