Tune in Tuesday: My journey through the CrossFit Open

We all have a reason for doing the CrossFit Open. Here is a look into my journey and the "why" behind each of my CrossFit Open's and Friday Night Light Experiences. *Note, this is all about one athlete's journey and lesson's learned throughout the journey... sorry if it got longwinded*

2013- Doing it because someone told me to

I was fresh (2 months) into CrossFit and I did the Open because someone told me to. I had no idea what it was. I didn't have a pull up or toes to bar when I started and lets just forget about a handstand push up or muscle up. I could do the endurance part but the rest was super hard for me. I am so glad my fellow classmates told me to do it. This was my opportunity to be a part of something greater than myself.

Up until finding CrossFit just before my 29th Birthday I had been going through the motions of life. I had some trauma in my life during grad school. When I was 25 was drugged and raped and although I looked like I was succeeding I was struggling inside and I didn't even know it. I and wasn't truly living for at least 4 years after that incident. CrossFit let me find what it meant to mean something again. It gave me this inner strength and the ability to use the community around me to better myself. That is where the motto #betterthanyesterday started. And yes, there were only 39 total hashtags to that tagline when I first started using it but I am glad it caught on. Someone told me to try CrossFit and I listened and then they told me to do the Open and I am glad I listened.

The workouts were released and I didn't even know what a Chest to Bar Pull up was. My CrossFit coaches never talked about them so when the standard told me I had to touch my chest to the bar I just laughed. In 2013 there was no scaled version. It was Rx or nothing. So I just did my best and enjoyed the journey. I loved everything about competing although I wasn't any good I didn't care. I was having a blast.

I am pretty sure I spent the entire workout trying to do chest to bar...and I got 3!

2014- The year I pledged to training for something

I met some fine people at Stoneway CrossFit who took me in as their own. They asked me to train with their team. I truly learned what it meant to take care of my self and cut the crap out of my life. I started to focus on sleep, nutrition, true adventures, recovery and really dialing in training. I played 3 college sports and I know I never dialed things in this much when I was in my "prime playing days". I stopped partying and hung around people who cared about their health and well being and it was infectious. I even went to do track workouts and I HATE the track. It gives me legit nightmares. There is a reason I was a "field" athlete. This team of people I trained with wanted to make "Regionals". I had no idea what this meant, other than they wanted to compete and I thought that was pretty cool. I was on board. Whatever I was doing was going in the right direction for my health and wellness. I was again a part of something much bigger than myself and I loved it! What do you know, we trained hard as a team and we made regionals! That was an experience we will never forget.

Team Stoneway CrossFit

Yep, I know my shoulders were much smaller back in those days =)

2015- The year I moved Home and did it for the wrong reasonsSince I had made regionals with a team the year prior I naturally thought that should be my goal for the upcoming year... along with moving home and opening a couple of businesses on a broken foot. Looking back that looks ridiculous to say, but that is what I thought I should do. I wanted so badly to get back to that stage that I did the CrossFit Open in 2015 with the goal to advance to Regionals. I hired some fine coaches and was being coached remotely. I was putting in the work but I actually lived at EHP (in the back room) for the first 6 months I opened to save up enough to get a house. Boy, college dorm rooms were a treat compared to this. When I actually got to hire another coach (Rhoda) to help out, there were always classes happening at 5:30am and I never slept! I worked out from 9-11pm when the work seemed like it was done. During the Open I was constantly stuck on the stupid leaderboard and competing with everyone but myself. When I actually looked back I was able to accomplish so much as an individual that year both physically, mentally, emotionally and psychologically but it didn't seem like enough because I hadn't accomplished my goal of making regionals as an individual athlete. Did I have some fun? Yep. But it was overshadowed by the fact that I didn't reach a goal that I had set for all the wrong reasons.

Live and Learn was the motto of 2015.

CrossFit Invictus Coaching staff and Rhoda and I. I actually did one of my Open Workouts in San Diego as I was working for USA Beach Volleyball at the Olympic Training center during the Open.

2016- Learn and Move on- Inspire others

I learned alright. I learned to set intrinsic goals for myself. Extrinsic won't get you anywhere. I didn't feel I had lost from the situation in 2015, but I used it to learn. I never lose. I either win or I learn... and life has been such learning experience that I seem I spend most of my time learning. 2016 I had finally gained the confidence to actually compete and push myself to my own personal limits. Not those of other girls on the leaderboard. I no longer had a personal coach but trained with all of the fine people at EHP. I needed the community. Truth be told, I don't actually love working out, but I do love competing! I know I need to in order to be a better person and function, but I still hate getting out of bed in the morning to come and work out. If I wasn't surrounded by such great people, who knows where I would be =) I had some great teammates/coaches who pushed me to go as hard as I possibly could. I actually did one of the workouts while in California for work with Beach Volleyball and another one while down in Brazil for beach volleyball. Talk about adversity in competition. Some things you just love to do at home. Although there were some stressful moments I got more joy out of watching everyone from EHP overcome their obstacles during the Open and watching them succeed. And that year I got to go to Regionals. Although not the main goal, it was a nice reward!

2017- The year I thought I had it dialed in.

This year I really dialed in my training, nutrition, sleep and life balance. Meaning I was still working a TON but I was starting to get better and work less overall hours. I had the goal of doing the Open and really testing to find my limits. How far could I go and push myself. I had been working with coach Joel on a few things and was really feeling confident. And then on the week 1 re-do- something bad happened.

If you don't like injuries, don't go to the link but you can see how a simple step down from the box changed things for me:

https://instagram.com/p/BRCkHYVjbQm/

That "little" ankle sprain destroyed my entire ankle. We didn't know it at the time, I just know it hurt really bad. My initial xrays showed that nothing was broken, but I knew something was wrong. I can endure alot of pain and I was being pushed to my max. I had given up. No CrossFit season for me that year. After a phone call to my best friend Kelly, she said I have never known you to quit. You need to do what you do and give yourself a chance to compete if this is what you want to do. So I did everything I knew how to do. I'm definitely not saying it is right for everyone to push through injuries because that would be a terrible statement, but it was the right thing for me to do in the moment. I got off crutches on a Thursday and did the Open workout that Friday. Without the cheers from everyone there is no way I would have gone on. I learned what true physical grit was in that Open.

After the Open and enduring so much pain we got an MRI 8 weeks post injury. The results were really grim: I did have an avulsion fracture of my medial malleolus, a deep bone bruise on my tibia and talus, a completely frayed tibialis posterior tenson (the muscle that holds up the arch of your foot), 2/3 of my deltoid ligament completely gone (the one that holds together the inside of your ankle), my anterior talofibular ligament and my calcaneofibular ligament were also both gone (the ones that hold up the lateral side of your ankle) as well as a bunch of swelling everywhere. That was one ugly ankle. I did not have one pain medication the whole time while going through this. Pain is a signal to stop and I didn't want to interfere with my bodies own reactions to pain. After a bunch of surgical consults, spending the majority of the two months before regionals in a boot, no one knew what to do with me. No surgeon would do anything because I am "too functional" for an ankle that looks like that =). Through numerous therapy sessions and PRP, people still don't know what do to for that ankle.

My goals or truly testing myself were overshadowed but this injury. But I did the CrossFit Open and I was so proud to be a part of the EHP Community and what everyone in it was doing. I couldn't resist.

2018- The year of just chillin and doing

Some may say I lost some fierceness during this year, but I think it just went towards different things. My husband would probably disagree on the year of chillin but this is how I see it. I took the time my body needed to rest and relax and recover after dealing with my ankle. It will always be something I deal with along with my crummy knees. I trained hard, but I didn't train as much as the year prior. I wanted to do the CrossFit Open with everyone around me and have a great time. We were away in New Zealand on our honeymoon for 18.1 and we did it there. It was really hot the day we did it. So much sweat. I didn't feel I had given it my all so when we landed from our 15 hour flight in Dallas Texas we went to a CrossFit and did it again. Even though I had super big kankles from the flight I wanted another try at it. In the middle of the workout Lucas thought I looked like absolute garbage, but I was still ahead of pace so he let me keep going. I did best my score and was proud that I could do better!

I was very eager to get back to EHP to do the rest of the workouts with everyone else. I set and hit some personal goals this past year and didn't have an expectation of where I finished in the open, but wanted to know that I gave it my all on each of the workouts. I re-did all five. I bested my score on 3/5, tied my score on one (that is the worst feeing) and did worse on one (I don't recommend going to altitude and doing thrusters and chest to bar!). I really learned by re-doing the workouts to see if my body had anything left to give.

The staff at EHP made Friday Night Lights what it is today and it was such a great experience. I LOVED seeing everyone push themselves, get all dressed up, cook some amazing food and celebrate together after 18.5. Friday Nights lights is such a cool community event it is my favorite time of year! The starting line-ups were my absolute favorite!

2019- The year of unknowns

There has been a lot of change this year. Change in my life. Change in the CrossFit Structure. Change in location. Change in the clinic. Change in my training routine. So much change.

There is one thing that is certain- I only really have three expectations for this years open.

1) Give everything my body has to give each week. I have come to realize that I may never be as fit or as good as I was in 2016 and 2017, but that is reality. I do not put in the time or hours that I used to as my body refuses to take it anymore and I have other goals that are taking a front seat. I still love to train and the journey had been such an important part of my life, but it isn't all of my life. It is a daily reminder to keep telling myself it is okay if I am never that fit again.

2) Encourage all of those around me to push themselves to their fullest. I love seeing all of our members push themselves to the best of their ability. That is what it is all about. I get so pumped seeing people dig deep within themselves and find another gear that they didn't know they had.

3) Have Fun. I don't know where this season will end up or if I will compete at another big event, so I am just going to have fun one day at a time with the people that also call EHP their home away from home. I have moved into the Master's category which basically means nothing. I am just another year older having fun with everyone here!

I was able do these things during 19.1 and I am so excited to spend my next four friday nights with everyone else at EHP. If you would have asked my 25 year old self what I wanted to do on a Friday night, hanging out at the gym would not have been on my priority list but I am so glad it is today! I commend those that are younger for figuring out some things far earlier than I did because your health and wellness is greatly influenced by your healthy decisions and you will have so many great years to come. I am constantly reminded of those my senior that age is just a number and it is what you make of it. When I see these other Masters athletes giving it everything they have I get goosebumps. They have been able to show me that you can live a long and healthy life without restriction because they have kept their body moving in a healthy way. This is what I want to strive for. No limitations.

Thank you to everyone at Stoneway CrossFit EHP CrossFit for making my story. Without all of you there would be no story to tell and no amazing people to hear stories from.

I'm so glad you decided to do the open no matter what your circumstance. Lets go celebrate you for the next 4 Friday Nights!

#betterthanyesterday